Deep purple on the dating game
I always have a lot to juggle with family, friends, work and now an illness.
If the person I meet is just as busy, the hope is he won’t notice when I am tired or not giving him the attention he and the relationship deserves. Okay, so I know this might be shocking for those of you reading this who know me as I am now very happily married with a child.
He was the one everyone in the whole place was listening to.
He had the power to control the whole party; if you are both busy then you can’t be singled out for not being around.
I even danced around the room and sang Here Comes the Bride.
Every aspect of my dream wedding was planned out from the flowers, to the church, to the names of the forthcoming children.
It made me sad every time they would joke, but I would never tell.To understand the game, you need to first know the rules. Now this is a rule that pertains to most people, not just those who are dealing with an illness, but I think that because people who have been sick have dealt with so much sadness and disappointment in their lives, the mere thought of being hurt or sad scares them into running away from relationships and love. Just when things get good, I would rather mess it up myself and leave.I feel like Lupus has taken most good things in my life away, so it is almost like I don’t even want to give it the chance of ruining a relationship.Most of the time, I was always the one to break up with a guy.I would find something wrong with them, I would get bored, or if I didn’t have the guts, I would give them plenty of excuses to break up with me.
It bothered me and I tried to think back to every man that I ever dated or even spent time with, and I didn’t want to continue this apparent pattern.